So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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