I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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