you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
