We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
