Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
