Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
