She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize