she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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