i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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