Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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