i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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