I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize