Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
