Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No subtext here. People are naked.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
