bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize