U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
