Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i've created a new STD.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
