I'm drive I can fine osifer
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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