Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
