I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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