She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
