He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
