I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
