Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
