There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
