my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
