I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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