Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
