the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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