What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
