omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
