Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
if only i could text you this smell
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
