I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
