She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
