You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
