But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
