just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
