There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
