You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
