he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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