i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
