its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
