that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
