So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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