I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
