ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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