i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
