with your own penis?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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