People in love make me want to vomit
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
