Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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