Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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