At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize