Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
