My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
