if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize