she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
