Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize