stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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