Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
