Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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