I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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