i think i have herpe
just one?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
