Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
