would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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