I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
