There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Boobs are out for the taking
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
