you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
