I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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